Symptoms – Zoe

 

An intense fear of pregnancy and delivery made Zoe feel tense, nauseous and trapped in a never-ending cycle of worries.

Written testimony

To be honest, I mean I listened to what she had to say but it’s important to mention that I also had this underlying and important and significant fear of pregnancy itself. Pregnancy, delivery, this idea of carrying another human being for nine months, there was a lot about that process itself that was, that seemed very daunting and for better or for worse I was questioning my capacity to carry out a successful pregnancy. Maybe severely underestimating myself but also falling into I guess the trap of over thinking it and over analyzing, falling into just the endless spiral of worries ad what-if’s which I’m notorious for.

Because, yeah, yeah, I guess there was a lot of uncertainty related to the pregnancy process itself and I’m somebody who reads about things, who hears, when they hear stories I tend not to be impressionable, but if I hear a story, like for instance at the time my best friend had given birth in this very hospital to a very large baby following a very difficult labour that lasted over thirty-six hours and it was traumatic. And she didn’t even give me all the details but her mother did and perhaps I was already in some type of vulnerable or fragile state and that really left an impression on me.

So anything related remotely to pregnancy and delivery was kind of not sitting well with me. I would really tense up at the thought of, like really become tense, like everything would contract. The belly, again. I’d have symptoms of, you know, just a knot in my stomach, nausea sometimes just out of fear, out of anxiety at the thought of pregnancy.

So, with my GP telling me that, you know, it’s best that you decrease your medication and eventually wean off of it for the sake of your child.

More content